My attempt at the train story; it’s 16 words over and I can’t pare any more. What a discipline this is!
He had been following her. She was sure of it. She had felt those sliding eyes on her almost before she had seen him, but when she had actually looked at the man, he’d been looking over her head at the destination board. And she’d begun to sweat, in the snaking draughts of the concourse.
She had five minutes to pelt off to platform 13; the train almost deserted at this late hour. She sat in the end of a carriage, gasping slightly. A skinny girl chewed gum obsessively at the other end. No-one else.
And then he was there. Sliding into the seat opposite her, just as the train pulled out of the station.
March 6, 2009 at 10:53 pm |
Love it! The ’sliding’ is so creepy.